If you are searching for answers, for a job, a house, a husband, remember that God knows where to find you. He invites us to rest in him, to allow him to be our shepherd, to trust in his understanding. I believe that if there is something God wants for me, and if I am seeking HIM, he will get whatever it is he has for me into my hands at just the right time.

The thing about jealousy is its power to hide blessings. Like a black thundercloud moving in, blocking the warmth and light of the good right in front of us.

And the thing about looking back and wanting what WAS is that it's jealousy in its ugliest form, not just hiding the blessing of our present but holding us back from moving forward.

Half the battle is recognizing the lies of the enemy. The other half is speaking the truth.

When Paul says to "take every thought captive," I understand what he meant. My mind is under constant assault from the enemy. Discouragement and fear are his weapons of choice. He knows that I am weakened by grief and trauma, that my mama heart is breaking; so he is relentless.

I'll be the first to admit that some of my plans would have actually changed the course of my life for the worse had they succeeded. And there are dreams in my heart that seemed so perfect I still question, "why not, Lord? Why didn't you bless those plans?" (like my expectations for my children)So where does that leave us and our beautifully calendared days, bullet journals, and to-do lists? What about our goals and action plans, our vision boards and Pinterest boards? What of our hopes for our children, plans for our retirement , and our dream vacation?

What I am saying, tired parent, is this:  your child's emotional well-being, academic success, and spiritual health is not all depending on you. You and I can parent purposefully, pray for our children, and then entrust them to God. There is no scenario in which we can perfectly parent our kids using tried and true strategies resulting in perfect children.You and I live our life overcoming our own parents' shortcomings. That's what they did and that is what our children will do.

But I heard someone say recently that there is always blue sky. Clouds roll in to obscure our view of it, sometimes gray and gloomy, at other times dark and threatening, but clouds don't stay forever. The dreary clouds are temporary, but the sun in its vast expanse of clear blue is a constant.We just have to look hard, to train our eyes to see through the overcast and into the overwhelming promise of hope we have in Christ. We have to train our minds to remember what is true. The winter will turn to spring, the dreary skies will clear and we will feel the sun on our faces again.