He Knows Where to Find Me
If you have ever been in a desperate place, unable to see a way out or even a solid spot of ground for your next step, you may have heard the sneering whisper of panic creeping into your mind.
Panic and fear can send your soul reeling and then grasping for anything resembling hope. Here's what I've learned- when I am at that place- fearful of the unknown and scrambling to piece together a survival plan- it's because I somehow have begun to believe it's all up to me.
I understand what it's like to have your heart broken, your hopes and dreams destroyed, your plans changed for you. I know what it's like to sit in a pile of rubble that was once your life and wonder, "now what?"
In many ways, I am still there.
The path is still rocky ahead and I am watching for trail markers, but I know there is a way out. I have hope.
Why? I believe that God knows where to find me.
Months ago, I began looking for a job. I applied to so many jobs, I lost count. I searched online, put the word out through friends, sent resume after resume. I had a college degree and qualities I felt were marketable. Interviews came and went while our savings dwindled.
In the midst of that, I changed phone carriers to save money which required changing phone numbers. I worried about all of those applications and resumes with the wrong number and no way to forward calls.
One Sunday night, while I played games with my children, I received a call about an interview. Days later, I wondered how the employer had found my new number.
I won't tell the whole long story (although it's amazing), but God knew where to find me.
The job was, undoubtedly, what God wanted for me, so he worked out all those details. He can do that, right? He can part seas and raise the dead and find phone numbers. So, why do we panic?
I think about the unknowns at this point in my life and the natural thing to feel is fear. It is natural to want to wring my hands, pace about and make my plans.
Maybe you can understand what it's like to feel desperate. The path is not marked, there are no answers to your questions, and you're wondering if God sees you.
He does.
I'm still shuffling through some rubble, and I am taking thoughts captive daily, struggling at times to hang on to the hope I'm telling you about, but God does see us. He knows our need. Even more, he knows our greatest needs. Greater than my family's need for money, was my need to see God's faithfulness and his love for me as my Father.
If you are searching for answers, for a job, a house, a husband, remember that God knows where to find you. He invites us to rest in him, to allow him to be our shepherd, to trust in his understanding. I believe that if there is something God wants for me, and if I am seeking HIM, he will get whatever it is he has for me into my hands at just the right time.
Focus your searching on him. Then trust him for what you need. He knows where to find you.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. Psalm 139:1-14