Taking only parts of God's word to believe and follow is very convenient to support our own agenda for life. It may be easier to ignore the wrath of God because it frightens us, but it is part of who God is. I am getting to know God in a new way, reading chapters that I don't understand, that even scare me.

It's exhausting trying to love a porcupine. You know who I'm talking about, right? Prickly people. People that for a myriad of reasons have their quills extended instead of a handshake or hug. No matter how hard you try, you find yourself on the receiving end of their sharp barbs. We all know someone who is difficult to love.

As we push forward on our journeys, we will struggle. It's a messy journey, but we cannot allow shame to accompany us. When we have failed again, lost a battle, fallen on our faces, the enemy sends shame to our side to convince us we are no good. Losers. Finished.

I don't know how to label my struggle; I don't have a name for it. Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Shame says, “you'll never get past this.” I am reminded of Paul who spoke of having “a thorn” in his flesh that he asked God to take away. Several times.

We fail when we misplace our focus. We fail to laugh and enjoy our children we are focused on tasks and results. We fail to open our hearts to them when we have unhealthy expectations of them. We fail to gain their trust when we constantly police them. We fail to see how beautiful they are right now when we are focused on what they should become.

We are simply one instrument God uses to guide and teach them. Possibly, the most important one on this side of heaven, but only one. And he is the one who brings real change and true growth. We can only influence. We will never get it all right, and even if we did, it would be no guarantee. We cannot protect them, program them, or perfect them. And God never asked us to do so.

God has beautiful plans to use our stories, gifts, skills, and even our struggles to bring his grace to the broken. Why would he hide his instructions from us as to how to accomplish that?

I think maybe we make it waaaayyyy too complicated.I believe that mostly we just have to stay close to him and he will guide us as we go. This may sound crazy, but I think God gives us freedom to make a lot of choices.