How Do You Care for Aging Parents?
My father is elderly. The one who took me to get my driver's license can no longer drive his own car. His vision is dimming and so is his hope. He is in a care facility hoping to build up strength to go home, but that may not happen.
How do you parent your parent?
My brother and I are navigating this journey with heavy hearts. We saw it coming, yet feel like he was buying us Twinkies and Dr. Pepper at Mills River Grocery just yesterday.My relationship with my father was what it was. Awkward at times, never deeper than a conversation about the weather or Kmart. But that's as far as he could take it, and I knew he loved me, regardless. What my dad did well was listen. His eyes never shifted to his watch and I don't remember him interrupting my stories or saying, "I'm too busy."Over the last decade or so, my dad has experienced enough health scares to push him out of his comfort zone enough to speak the words, "I love you" more freely. This latest stay in the hospital even brought on conversations about life and death, regrets and last wishes. A lifetime to get deeper than small talk, but we got there, nonetheless.Now, here we are, faced with watching him depend on strangers to help him go to the restroom. A man's dignity fades quickly in that situation.It's hard holding back the tears when I'm putting his socks on for him, or helping him get food onto his fork. All my thoughts seem to start with the phrase, "I wish I would have..." But time doesn't stop and certainly will not turn back for us, so we make the most of today and hold to hope for tomorrow.We are just not here long.Yet in the midst of this heavy season, as I let the tears roll freely while typing this post, I am listening for the voice of hope in the midst. His voice has called to me in darkness enough throughout my life, that I'm counting on it this time.Regret could swallow me whole given enough time. Sadness could overtake my soul today rendering me useless. I am choosing not to allow them to be my companions; but surrender them to the redeemer who wastes none of my pain.
How can i love my aging parent today?
Today. Today is an opportunity to honor my father and love him. Even if it's just a phone call. As humans, one of our basic needs is having something to look forward to each day. I think my phone calls have become that for my dad. I'm thankful that we can talk each day.We cannot get a redo on life, but there is today. I will be the phone call my dad is waiting for today. I live two states away, but I can love him through our conversations every day. I cannot visit daily or even weekly.That's what I can do for my father. I cannot change his health and I cannot change our past. I can speak life and love and joy to him. I can help him put on his socks and feed him if he needs help. I will make the most of every moment with him and trust God for wisdom as we walk through this together.Our days are too short to let yesterday darken today or steal our tomorrows.
What Can I Change?
I have one opportunity on this planet to live a life of love and truth that would bless those I come in contact with and possibly lead them one step closer to Jesus. That's it.I don't want to find myself lying in a bed one day kept company only by my regrets. I want to lavish my children with love and encouragement. I want to listen well and know them deeply.As much as it depends on my, I want to live a healthy lifestyle, taking care of this one body I was given so that it can be used for God's glory.I can only change myself, and that with the help of my Redeemer.