Can I Just Send My Teenager Back Into the Womb and Start Over?

You know what they say about hindsight, right? Yesterday, in the midst of my big "2016 Dejunk and Defunk", I decided to tackle our collection of cords, chargers, and gadgets. Basically a huge pile of tangled, unidentifiable adapters, USB cords, cables, and chargers that when linked end to end could stretch across the state of Georgia.

I am not even on the spectrum of tech ability, so to me this was a hot mess of stress. Panic set in quickly. What if I toss out something that makes our life work? But some of these wires have been in this box for at least a year, so...What do I do? I wanted an expert to come to my rescue!

I began to play detective and matched several cords to their appropriate devices, finding the charger cord for my waterproof camera in the process! Wahoo!

Okay, here is where the hindsight comes in. From this day forward, using my label maker (birthday present to myself), I will label every cord that enters our house. Problem solved! When we began buying techy stuff, I didn't know how out of control it would become. I didn't know that we would one day be overwhelmed by a mountain of wires and cords.

All of that was just my word picture for what I really want to say, because everything in life seems to remind me of something else.

Seventeen years ago we began having children. We had no plan for family size or how to space them out, but in four and a half years, we had four kids. Needless to say, those years were a whirlwind, days of just trying to catch our breath.

When we were nice and comfortable in the "Four, No More" club, God broke our hearts for two children in Ethiopia. Hello to five more years of the world spinning a little to fast to find my balance.

I didn't know when my first child was born, the journey that lay ahead for us. Without hindsight, foresight would have been great. Now I would give my left pinky toe for one hour of life with my kids little again.

When my children were babies stretching and moving inside me, keeping me awake, I didn't know that one day I would ache to feel that again for just a moment.

During the years of a baby on one hip and groceries on the other, tripping over toys and flopping into my bed exhausted, I didn't know that life was actually unbelievably sweet.

As I rocked restless ones, longing for just one hour of uninterrupted sleep, I didn't know to soak up the smell of their sweet heads as they rested on my shoulder.

When my children fought naps and pitched fits, I didn't know how easy that day would be compared to these days of teenage drama and rebellion.

When my children begged me to play one more hand of UNO (after we just played 12), and I told them, "sorry, I have to clean up the kitchen," I didn't know that one day, I would be the one begging for just a little time together.

I didn't know.

Hindsight is sometimes like a tour guide for a trip  through our past, showing us beauty and meaning that we didn't see as blazed those trails years ago. It was new territory and we were finding our way, struggling to survive. We didn't know how overwhelming it would become.

I wish there was an easy solution that my label maker could handle for these days of raising children, because most days are a hot mess of stress. Tangled words and attitudes, old behaviors that I wish I could just toss out. It's just not simple, controllable, or even manageable at times.

I miss the days that a chore chart, "bedtime", and car seats could manage and control. I miss snuggling with a little one for naptime. I miss the days when my children asked me questions and thought I had all the answers. I miss the feeling that I have a lifetime to raise my kids. Now, one is almost ready to leave the nest, with the rest on her heels.

So. What to do now? Curl up in a ball with a bag of Milanos and cry? Maybe.

Or, we who are at the hindsight stage of parenting can stop and soak up the wisdom God has given us and use it to make the rest of our parenting days beautiful. Messy, but beautiful. And for those who are begging for foresight, seek it out on your knees before the Lord and over a cup of coffee with a friend who has traveled further down the path than you.

When that sweet little lady at the grocery store pats your arm while you are trying to shop with a screaming baby, and she says with a smile, "Enjoy this time, because before you know it your kids will be grown and gone," believe her.

In a blink of an eye, you will be watching them graduate from high school. Blink again and they're married...

You may feel like the days are dragging by, along with your exhausted body, but I am speaking truth to you. There is beauty in those hard days if we look for it. Stop and look. Soak it up and let the other stuff go. My children are amazing, but I have missed many amazing moments with them as I chose things I thought were urgent. It turns out that their little hearts and minds were the urgent need.

I am asking the Lord to help me be purposeful, to show me how to create beauty and see beauty in the years I have with my children at home. Moment by moment, day by day. In His grace, I believe these next years of raising children will be a sweet gift for them, for myself, and for Christ.

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.  Psalm 62:8

I pray that these words will encourage you today to seek Jesus as you parent.