Wildflower

Would you describe yourself as lovely? If someone asks you to tell a little about yourself, do you begin with, “Well, I am a beloved daughter, wonderfully made. Actually, I’m a masterpiece.” ?

Most of us would never describe ourselves with such language. Even if we really believed these things, would we say that out loud? It would sound weird, right?

What if it were just you in the room, alone in front of your mirror? Who are you?

How you answer this question, how I answer this question shapes our moments, our days, our years. Beliefs lead to emotions that lead to actions. If I believe I am valuable, I feel confident and empowered. That confidence leads me to take action, like loving my coworkers, pursuing a new hobby or even a new career.

If, however, I don’t believe I am lovely, gifted, and valued, I see sad discouraged eyes looking back at me. What do I have to offer anyone in a relationship or workplace? So, I settle. I don’t take chances or try new things. I don’t contribute.

Beliefs are the seeds of our actions.

For most of my life, I believed I wasn’t enough, so I exhausted myself to be what I believed was good and acceptable. In my deepest places, I did not believe I was worthy of the kind of love that treasures, protects, and esteems. I had lists of things I should be doing better hoping to feel worthy, valuable, good enough. The good things I did were not from a place of joy, but of fear.

About ten years ago, I asked for help. Working through my unhealthy beliefs was not easy, but I found freedom from the unrealistic expectations I was living under daily. Most of what I believed was the result of my story - things that happened to me, words spoken, words not spoken, hurts left unaddressed and unforgiven.

The truth of my identity in Christ found its way into my heart and mind. I began writing and walking in the joy of who God created me to be.

Since then, my life has taken many twists and turns. Things happened to me, words were spoken, not spoken. More hurts had to be addressed and forgiven. Life is like that; love and pain. No matter how good we are, how rich, how beautiful, how talented, how hard we work at protecting our hearts, pain finds us.

Every good story has pain and tragedy. It’s the twist in the story when tragedy is overcome with joy that grips us, makes us stand up and cheer. The pain makes the love and the victory even greater.

The thing is, the painful parts of our story can pin us up against a wall or open a door. Our enemy is the father of lies and will use our pain and trauma to convince us that we are weak, worthless, disqualified, damaged, ugly, hopeless, too-far gone. If we believe these lies, shame and fear begin to take over and we then live life from a place of defeat.

But, if we choose to believe the truth of who we are in Christ, he can use the ugliest parts of our stories to open doors to beauty that is more than what we could ask for or imagine.

Each morning, I drive through beautiful farmland, with the sunrise to my left. On a clear morning, the sun is greeting me over grassy pastures and mountains. But if there are clouds lingering after an evening storm, the sunrise can be magnificent. Colors dance through the clouds, rays burst through spaces in between and I want to stop my car and just marvel. The storm that rolls through during the night, rumbling our house, bending the trees low, muddying our sidewalk takes an already beautiful moment and glorifies it in a way that only a storm can.

I am who I am because I am wonderfully made by my Creator. He deemed me beautiful, worthy, and valued when he gave his own son for me. When I walk through times of pain and suffering believing I am his beloved daughter, I find confidence and comfort knowing the sunrise is there, even if it’s behind dark clouds. I can allow the storm to roll through and then be transformed by the light of Christ shining on me in a way that only comes after a storm.

The enemy tries to convince us that we are damaged, broken, dirty, and unacceptable because he knows we will hide and live small. We won’t walk through doors of joy, adventure, challenge, and growth that have been ours to walk through since our Father set our tiny feet on this earth. He knows we will exhaust ourselves in every possible way trying to become the girl whom our Savior already declared us to be- loved, accepted, worthy, and secure; His beloved daughter.

Your Father is waiting for you to join him. He’s asking you to let go of whatever label the accuser has tried to attach to you. You may believe there are moments of your life that have defined you. Acknowledge those moments and then let God shine the light of his grace and healing on them. Thank Him for leading you through, for his faithfulness, and the hope of all that lies ahead. And then let Him tell you who you are, not those moments.

Who does he see when he looks at you? Your answer to that question shapes your days, your years, your life.

A song by Clay Finnesand, called “Wildflower” reminded me recently of how easy it is to get caught up in trying to become enough. “The past has my number, the future’s unclear. I try to numb it, forget all the pain. Still, I catch my breath at the fragrance of grace. Beautiful wildflowers, no one to impress. Without even trying, perfectly dressed.” We are lovely wildflowers, planted by God.

What if we live as our Father’s beautiful wildflowers? What if we look in the mirror and see enough? What if we believe that our lives are full of meaning, purpose, and joy? What if we stop hiding, waiting, striving, and step through the doors that have been flung wide open by our redeemer? What if we know that if we stumble, it’s okay because that doesn’t qualify us as disappointments or failures?

What if we live loved?

God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things,

may have an abundance for every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8