Uncertain
Uncertainty is where we are living right now.
Some of us are navigating the challenging new landscape annoyed at the inconveniences- toilet paper shortages, face masks, and wondering if Starbucks will ever reopen its doors. While others are frozen in fear and simply can't seem to move forward. Then there are some of us whose lives have been ravaged by the death of a loved one.
No one saw a pandemic coming, and even if someone had told us, it would have been like hearing Chicken Little yelling, "the sky is falling! The sky is falling!" If you had told me in February that the whole world would be walking around in masks, schools would be closed, and toilet paper scarce, I would have thought you were crazy.
Our lives have been impacted in a million ways by a virus, but for me the hardest part of it all is the uncertainty.
Some parts of life pre-Covid were certainties. Or at least we felt like they were. Toilet paper was a sure thing (unless you lived in Atlanta and one inch of snow was predicted). Sending our children to school, planning a wedding, high school graduation, vacation, and Starbucks with a friend were things that we just put on our calendars without a second thought.
Then the whole world was turned upside down, and the question we all want answered is, "when will this end?"
It's uncertain.
Not the answer we want when we are trying to plan our lives, right? Maybe this pandemic is not your first rodeo. Meaning, you have had your world turned upside down before.
It wasn't a world-wide virus, but maybe it was cancer. Maybe it was a devastating divorce or the loss of a loved one. It might have been a job loss or an addiction that rocked your world.
Certainty is a source of comfort. It’s like sitting in our favorite chair in the middle of our house on a sunny day. Uncertainty feels more like crossing a swinging bridge in the dark.
But when we walk across the swinging bridge, our vulnerability allows us to learn how to trust.
Before our world was turned upside down, it felt like we were standing on solid ground. Life did seem to have its certainties. But none of it- not the toilet paper at Walmart or our wedding plans were truly under our control. We know that now.
The mind of man plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Unimaginable things happened in my life two years ago and I lost the things that seemed the most solid. What I thought was an unshakable foundation in my life crumbled before my eyes. I was left sitting in a pile of rubble, dazed and afraid.
What happens in your heart when the person you trust most betrays you or the thing you depend on is taken away? Everything else suddenly feels uncertain. You begin to question other relationships and intentions.
When you’re left alone holding the pieces of your now broken life, when you don't know where your next dollar is coming from or maybe even your next breath, God can teach you to put your trust in him. Out of great loss can come the greatest gift of all- faith. It is a precious gift because it keeps on giving.
If I find myself in a place of uncertainly, I can look back and see how God provided the last time I didn't know where the money would come from, or where to put my next step. When I'm feeling desparate, crying out to God, "when will this end?", I can know that he will sustain me and walk through it with me just like he did the last time.
This time last year, I believed God when he said he would work it all together for my good, but I had no idea how. It seemed impossible, but with him all things are possible.
During uncertain days full of questions and wondering, as I fought hard against fear and worry, I knew one thing was sure. God was holding it all together. I didn’t necessarily feel it, but I knew it.
So I drew close to him, I listened, and I poured out my heart. I watched for his hand of provision and protection. I remembered how he had been faithful before and chose to believe he would be again.
Good friends reminded me that He wasn’t finished yet, so I held fast to hope.
Hope, etched in ink on my wrist, underlined in the Word, scribbled in my journal over and over, and whispered in my heart by my redeemer over and over.
On the other side of the wreckage, redemption built something beautiful. Something so devastatingly destroyed could not be repaired by my efforts, worries, or tears. I was given NEW joy on a NEW path by my savior who came to make all things new.
This virus that seems to have changed the landscape of our lives forever is not that big. The almighty didn’t give it that much power. He’s still in charge of forever.
And today.
Your life still has the same purpose and promise. Behind the cloud of Corona is a blue sky of hope and the breath of our Father will blow the clouds away; his light will dissipate the darkness and heaviness.
I am certain.
Trust in the certainty of the one who knows you best and loves you completely, the one who holds your world in his hands. Let the certainty of his grace and salvation lead you knowing that “this too shall pass”.
