This is for the Loser Mom

This is for the mom who forgot the drinks for the baseball team Saturday. Yeah you, who wanted to crawl in a hole of shame. After the game, those boys had to drink water. From a water fountain. 

You are the same mom who prays for your sons, the same mom who drives them to practice and games, who hosts birthday parties, and cleans up after them when they're sick. 

Funny how, as moms, we get disappointment. We understand sacrifice. But when it comes to our children, we kill ourselves trying to protect them from both. We're still wearing clothes from the 90's so we can buy our kids the latest and greatest. We haven't had time alone in months, but hundreds of hours checking homework, driving our mom "taxi", cheering on boys on the baseball field... and we love every minute of it! Why? Because we love our kids.

Then, it happens. The forgotten Gatorades for the team. The forgotten yearbook money. A missed deadline for a permission slip. Last mom in carpool line. 

Loser Mom.

When will we stop talking trash to ourselves? When will the mom guilt stop? 

My adopted daughter from Ethiopia mistakenly thought that only a 100 was an "A". This whole year of 5th grade, she has been so hard on herself, because she was battling perfection. 

Isn't that what we do, moms? Unless it's perfect, it's not good. Unless we get it all right, we're loser moms. 

Our kids need to know right now that we are going to disappoint, fail, and forget. Their dependence does not need to rest on us, but on the one who does not disappoint. There is one, only one, who is victorious. The rest of us are flawed and messy. It's our job to point them toward Christ, toward his perfect love. Our deep love for our children can become our focus, and when it does our children mistakenly believe that our lives should focus around theirs. 

Do we want to spend our emotional energy chasing perfection, walking on eggshells as we try to keep everyone happy? Loving our kids is not about getting it right, but about connection. 

As I show my kids grace, I want to teach them to show grace too. Even parents mess up. It's all grace. 

If you mess up, you're in good company. You are not a loser mom. You love your children deeply. Only Jesus loves perfectly. A little water from the water fountain never hurt anyone. 

1 John 4:16

New International Version (NIV)

16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.