Marianna Soper

View Original

Living Like an Orphan

He sits alone in his need. Tears flowing behind a closed door. We are on the other side. The ones who answered a call to minister to orphans. In his heart, is he still orphaned? Abandoned and rejected? 

We flew around the world to bring him into our family. Almost four years now. 

It's as simple as a broken yo-yo string but there is nothing simple with his broken heart. Almost puzzled, I remind him that he is not alone, that all he has to do is ask for help...we are here.



I could describe to you the same scenario but insert myself into the story as the orphan. 

No comparing our sacrifices to the one my Father made for me so that I could become his child, forever adopted into his family with all the rights and privileges, a great inheritance. Grace and mercy beyond measure.

Yet, I carry my worries and fears, my anxious and hurting heart alone. Tears flowing behind a closed door. Just like my son. All around me is the evidence of my Father's love and provision. Promises that can be trusted, yet I do not bring my heart to him.

He reminds me that I'm not alone, that all I have to do is ask for help...he is here. 

Why? Why do I live as an orphan searching for my own provisions to survive? Those days are over, I am his child.

In the morning air on my deck, I lay it all down before him. All that weighed on my heart, that consumed my thoughts. What I thought I must fix. Simple to Him, like a broken yo-yo string.

For some, intimacy with God is easy. Prayer is like breathing. I long for that.

Listening to Him through his word and seeing Him work in my life has never been hard for me. I have seen him do things that only he could do. Yet, I trudge through life weighed down and hurting on my own. 

My Father patiently reminds me, calls to me, invites me to trust him. Come to me all you who are weary...taste and see that the Lord is good...draw near to him and he will draw near to you...how great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we may be called children of God...

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

Maybe you are like me, one of those girls who tries to do it on her own. Exhausted? Alone? 

Your Father is waiting for you.