Completely Known. Completely Loved.

More than anything, we want to be loved. Not just loved, but known completely and still loved. Loved without trying hard, without impressing, without being the most perfect version of ourselves possible. No make-up, bad hair, yeah, but even more deeply.

We want someone to really see us, to take the time to look beyond the surface, beyond what we allow the rest of the world to see, and that kind of seeing requires intention, time, and patience; waiting until we are ready to risk possible rejection.

It's in that place of being seen and loved that our soul breathes deep. Inhales peace and exhales joy.

Being loved is only possible on the other side of risk. Walls down, defenses down, and masks off. Being that vulnerable goes against our survival instincts- our natural tendency to self-protect.

When I first read Psalm 18, I couldn't wrap my mind around it; a love so fierce, so powerful. David cries out to God for rescue and the Lord responds, coming down from heaven with smoke rising from his nostrils and dark clouds under his feet, as the earth trembled and shook. (Go read it!)

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters...

It's verse 19 that gets me.

"he rescued me because he delighted in me."

This is David. He was not a perfect man. He was an adulterer and a murderer. He didn't earn God's delight.

He couldn't.

Even if we could possibly be good enough, we don't want that kind of love, do we? The kind that we must earn? It's not even love. It's control and manipulation. Love is freely given. That's why verse 19 feels like a mountain I can't get over.

He delights in me.

God sees me completely. Every thought. Every motive. Every mistake. My selfishness, jealousy, and malice. All of it. Yet, because Jesus has covered all of that with his own sacrifice, God sees me as forgiven and clean.

The gifts he knit together in me, he sees those. He sees how he can use me in his Kingdom. He sees the hope and future that he has placed before me.

And he delights in me.

If I believe that the Creator God delights in me, then I can breathe deep. I can rest knowing that I am both seen and loved. That truth deeply impacts how I receive love from others, how risky I'm willing to live. I can bravely let others in because their acceptance or rejection does not change who I am.

I am the girl God delights in, whom he pulled out of deep waters. He is fierce for me and I am his.

I am completely known and completely loved.

You are too.

In my distress I called to the Lord;
    I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
    my cry came before him, into his ears.
⁷ The earth trembled and quaked,
    and the foundations of the mountains shook;
    they trembled because he was angry.
⁸ Smoke rose from his nostrils;
    consuming fire came from his mouth,
    burning coals blazed out of it.
⁹ He parted the heavens and came down;
    dark clouds were under his feet.
¹⁰ He mounted the cherubim and flew;
    he soared on the wings of the wind.
¹¹ He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
    the dark rain clouds of the sky.
¹² Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
    with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
¹³ The Lord thundered from heaven;
    the voice of the Most High resounded.^[d]
14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy,
    with great bolts of lightning he routed them.
¹⁵ The valleys of the sea were exposed
    and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, Lord,
    at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
    he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
    from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
    but the Lord was my support.
¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
    he rescued me because he delighted in me. Psalm 18:6-1