A Path Out of Depression
Solomon's words, "everything is meaningless" repeats itself in my mind today. Yes, I am a believer. An honest one. Depression is real.If I am the only woman to feel this way, then let this post speak to my own heart. If, however, you have found yourself in this empty state too, walk with me. We will hold hands, pull each other along if we have to because we can't stay here. We will die here if we do.Life is not life without hope.Days have passed, each seeming just like the others. Like a record skipping, playing the same sounds, not even a full melody, just noise. My beautiful song stopped, and I just hear the sound of the same struggles and stupid mistakes blaring in my ears, draining my heart of joy until I can't move. I don't want to move.Desire is lost. It has been replaced by doubt and discouragement. The only thing I want is a white flag to wave. I want to quit.I see my failures stacked up in front of me, a wall of shame. Fear seizes me, "have I ruined everything? Have I messed up what God gave me to do? "Those who love me seem to only want something from me and I don't have it to give. What once gave me purpose seems senseless. What I once dreamed now looks pointless.David has been here. "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" - Psalm 42:5I find comfort in his words because they connect to my aching soul. They were not kept hidden in darkness, but written and shared. There is no shame for the downcast spirit, the depressed heart."Breathe in and breathe out, " my friend told me. No blame or condemnation. She understands.Are you hiding your hurting heart? Has someone told you to snap out of it? Or has someone accused you of not having enough faith? Did she tell that if you really believe, you should struggle with depression?Search the Psalms for what "the man after God's own heart" wrote. Real words of real struggles. Breathe them in and breathe out the accusations of those who misunderstand the grace of Jesus. He came for the sick and brokenhearted. He is our healer.So let's walk out of this valley together believing a path is there to wholeness and joy.
Believe that you are loved and wanted, even in your sadness. God has offered to be your refuge. Let him.Believe that you have an enemy who has detailed plans to steal your joy and destroy God's plans for you. He whispers lies of hopelessness, guilt, and fear. He will try in every way to convince you that you do not matter, that God cannot use you, that nothing will change. He will tell you that your depression is your fault. He is a liar, the father of lies.Ask the one who put his fire in you through his miracle of grace to fan that flame back into joy. You can't rekindle the embers; it is He who does the work in us. Cry out as David did, depending on his power and mercy. Over and over he invites us to come to him.Ask a friend to pray with you. Don't walk the path alone because that is not what God intended. Ecclesiastes reminds us that two are better than one. We know that where two or more are gathered in His name, He will be there too.Praise. Even if it feels forced and labored. Speak truth to God of who he is; as you have struggled to find hope, he has not changed. He is still the awesome creator that you once worshiped. Speak truth until your emotions begin to speak it with you.Soak in truth. Read the promises of God's word. Over and over. Saturate your soul with the life-giving, life-changing Word of God.Be with people who care about you. Hiding out in your room with a bag of cookies is not the solution.Here are the words of David, loved and used by God, a man who found himself in a pit of depression more than once.
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?3 My tears have been my food day and night,while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”4 These things I remember as I pour out my soul:how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One[d]with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.
5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember youfrom the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
8 By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me?Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
11 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. - Psalm 42
As my husband reminded me in my puddle of tears, "this too shall pass." He was right. There is a path to joy stretched out before you. Start moving. Believe, ask, praise, and soak. God is good even if life feels hopeless.
**I am not a psychologist and cannot pretend to advise you concerning clinical depression. Seek help from a doctor if you feel necessary. God is our ultimate healer but we should seek help from doctors for our broken bones and our broken minds. Never walk through depression alone. Keep a friend close.