Life is messy. I'm not just talking about the my kitchen right now, or the scary state of our big van. Or even the kids' rec room which is literally torn apart with things hanging from the ceiling (school project). The clutter and disorder bother me, I won't lie. After I finish writing, I'll get busy. If you're a neat freak, you couldn't survive in our home. Children live here. Lots of them. Lots of stuff, lots of homework, lots of shoes. It's just not a neat and orderly package, this family of ours. To live here with joy, I have to say good-bye to the neat factor. When I said yes to children, I said yes to the mess.

Life is messy- choices, jobs, mistakes, accidents, sin. Life is messy because of people. We are all in disarray. We  have quirks and baggage, habits, and flaws. Not all of us are neat freaks, but many of us are freakishly controlling. I can go there if I'm not careful. These crazy people I live with just don't do what I want them to do sometimes! Believe me, I have tried every method to try and fix them! Manipulation in all its forms- silent treatments, guilt trips, rules, punishments. Manipulation is simply trying to make someone "neat" so that they fit in the package we are comfortable with, right? My poor family.

Do you know what stopped me in my tracks? What made me see my control for what is was? A counselor asked me to make a list of all the ways I judged my husband and children. Realizing that I lived in judgement of them was humbling. (My list was long) I saw my mess for the first time in a long time. I was judging and controlling which meant I was not trusting God. That brokenness brought joy because I found freedom from the prison of expectations. Being a control freak is exhausting! You know, it's not even my responsibility. I then became overwhelmed by the love of my family. I was screwed up too, but they still loved me!

Letting go of your expectations and judgements of others can be scary. Sort of like sitting in the passenger seat with my teenage daughter driving. I have no brake or steering wheel over there! We can't control other people. Trying only hurts them and puts in a prison of disappointment and frustration. Yeah, we're all messy. Loving people means saying "yes" to the mess.

for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6