As we enjoyed dinner out this weekend, I looked around at all the families, couples, and friends enjoying their time around tables and I wondered about their stories. For most of my adult life, I allowed the chaos and overwhelm of my own little world to consume my focus, blinding me to the story, gifts, and needs of others.

It’s easy to become too wrapped up with my own life, too focused on the demands, struggles, pain, or even successes to really see anything else. Honestly, when I was raising a big family, homeschooling, and leading in ministry, that’s exactly where I was. Even though that season was full of difficult challenges, I became self-absorbed and prideful.

How can I really see into the stories and struggles of those around me when I am consumed with my own? It wasn’t intentional, but there were many years when I was probably not the best friend to have. Or daughter. Or sister.

Here is what I see happening in my life when I become consumed with my own story. I think I am the only person who has experienced this kind of pain and struggle. I compare myself to others, becoming either discouraged or arrogant. Perhaps the most devastating result is being blind to the amazing stories, gifts, and beauty in those God has placed in my path.

After living through devastation and grief, which I thought would take me out, God graciously began to open my eyes to the stories, gifts, and beauty in those around me. I say began because it’s something he is still doing in me. Changing my mindset and focus can’t really happen overnight. Then there’s an enemy who would like nothing more than to keep me distracted and overwhelmed by my own life.

Though every step of my story matters to God, the greatest story is His gospel. It’s the good news that Jesus came to rescue us from sin and darkness, to set us free to be the fullest and best version of ourselves. As I learn to walk in the love that he has poured out on my story, he opens my eyes to those around me so I can pour out that love.

My mother was one of those people in my life that I wish I had truly seen and heard. In my pride, I often felt like she didn’t have anything to offer when she wanted to give advice. I wish I would have just enjoyed her more. valued her more. There are things now that I wish I knew about her; so many questions I didn’t think to ask, so many times I didn’t fully listen to her.

There are certainly moments, even seasons when it feels like all we can do is survive the surrounding storm, but keeping our eyes on the greatest story is what carries us through and even allows God to open our eyes to those around us. When we are focused on him instead of our circumstances, he can use the most unlikely people and situations to reveal his love to us. He can even use us in our darkest of days to share his story.

One day, during the darkest days of my life, I was sitting at Havoline waiting for an oil change. The technician walked up to my window and said, “Mama, you’re doing great. Just keep going; you’re gonna be okay.” What in the world?! Of course, tears immediately poured down my cheeks as I realized that my Father saw me.

We all walk through dark valleys and need someone to tell us, “You’re going to be okay.” I want to be that person for you, but two things must happen first. I need to entrust my life to the one who manages it best, and then learn to see you through the eyes of the one who loves you most.

God sees us and is always working, even when we don’t see Him. We can entrust it all to him; we can take our eyes off our problems and let him show us what he’s up to around us. I know what it’s like for life to feel like one hard hit after another, to live in fear of when the next blow is coming. But, when I was living in fear, trying to protect and preserve myself and my family, all I could see was struggle and pain. When I was consumed with my own life, I felt like I was living in a pit, unable to see out, alone.

God wants to walk through the dark days with us, carrying the weight of it all. He wants to lift our chins so that we see the life, miracles, and love that surrounds us. I can’t understand why, but God chooses to work through broken people like you and I to bring his hope to this world. He orchestrates circumstances, bringing us together because he loves us through connections with each other.

At first glance, we may see a smiling face, a successful business, and a beautiful family. Or maybe we see dirty clothes and an outstretched arm asking for money. It’s so easy to mistakenly judge someone at first glance and miss their story, their gift, their beauty, and their pain. We miss the very thing that connects us; we are all created in the image of God, all searching for joy, purpose, and meaning.

It’s never too late to “fix our eyes on Jesus” so that He can transform our perspective, opening our eyes to the stories around us. It’s through that connection with Him that we become aware of the connections he is creating for us. We receive comfort, encouragement, and mercy from Him to then share with each other.

I hope I can tell you one day, “You’re gonna be okay.”

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39